The Person I Would Most Like To Have Dinner With

This is a common essay assignment for high school and college students. I had unique writing assignments in high school (through A.P. English), CCAC, and Duquesne University but never had to write about who I would like to share a meal with. So, I’ll do it now.

I’m ruling out people who are deceased and I’m ruling out females who I would want to have dinner with in order to get to dessert.

I could list musicians and writers who have influenced me. Bruce Springsteen, John Mellencamp, Bono, Taylor Sheridan, Michael Lewis, Aaron Sorkin come to mind. I could list a few individuals who have made great strides in medicine or the sciences. I actually did meet immunologist Dr. Paul Offit once in his office in Philadelphia but he wouldn’t be my dinner choice. No athlete would be sitting across from me. It wouldn’t be an actor; I would much rather sit with a talented screenwriter.

The person I would most like to have dinner with is: the person who stole my Sears Ted Williams Free Spirit 10-speed bicycle (I don’t know if that person is alive or dead; I’m assuming that the thief is still walking free among us).

My parents bought the bike for me when I was 13 or 14. Ted Williams had an endorsement deal with Sears. We had a set of Ted Williams weights in the garage. They were concrete covered with thick plastic. The bike, if the internet is telling the truth, cost $99 brand new. My friend, who lived a few streets away, received the same bike from his parents. We both lived close to Brownsville Road, a major road that started in the City of Pittsburgh and ended up in South Park. I don’t know for a fact but I’m sure my friend’s parents told him what my parents told me: “Whatever you do, do not take that bike onto Brownsville Road.”

So, what did my friend and me do? Immediately rode our bikes to South Park. This was in the era before bike lanes, bike helmets and drivers used to seeing cyclists on the road. The Ted Williams Free Spirit 10-speed bike was a good-looking bike. It had two sets of brake levers, one on the curved part of the drop bar and another of the flat part of the bars near the stem. Two sets of brakes—and neither worked well. My friend and I were riding down one of the hills in South Park. A car in front of me stopped. I applied the brakes in plenty of time to stop but I ended up hitting into the back of the car. Of course, the driver was more worried about any damage I did to his car and any damage to me. (See Note 1)

That bike was stolen. It was stolen from Paynter Middle School (since torn down and rebuilt/renamed as R.A. Lutz Elementary School. There were times when the gym would be open during the summer and we were allowed inside to play basketball or use the weight room (which had a “brand new for the time” Nautilus machine!).

Someone stole my bike. I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I didn’t do enough to hunt down the bicycle thief. I should have returned to Paynter and asked questions. I should have walked to the police station and filed a report. I want to find the person who stole my bike. What did they do with it? Did they keep it? Toss it in the woods? Sell it? Regardless of what they did with my bike, and if I learn their identity, I’m going to ask them to pay me back for the value of the bike—plus interest plus the bike thief equivalent of punitive damages.

Do you know who stole my bike? If you do, let me know.

You can come to the dinner and you won’t have to pay.

Note 1: A few years ago, I made a bike ride to South Park from the South Side. There were no shoulders on the road on most of Baptist Road. That’s why you don’t see cyclists on Baptist Road.

Note 2: Also some years ago, I saw my friend who made that ride with me working at PNC Park. He told me he still had his Ted Williams Free Spirit 10-speed bike. Not only that but he once rode that bike from Cumberland, Maryland to Washington D.C. Long before bike the trail became popular—and safe. His bike is now spray-painted black.

Note 3: Here is an advertisement for the bike along with three images. The images are from a bike locked up along Smithfield Street. I don’t think this bike was mine.