“I could do amazing things with you.”

          In the month of February during my senior year of high school, I got a five- week job at WQED.  The unique way I got the job has been written about in other venues and the story has been told by me many times.  The way I got the job is not the story.  What follows is.

          The people at QED thought I was a college student.  They thought that because I told them that I was.  They hired four college students (or three college student and me) to build new shelving in a rented warehouse to store the blue cases for the two-inch videos that held the recorded shows. The station was running out of space in the studio.  I physically handled many episodes of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood in addition to riding the elevator with the man himself.  I had gotten a work release from high school.  Each morning Monday to Friday over those five weeks, I took the 51D bus to downtown and then transferred to the 71C to get to Oakland.  I was a working man.

          I still remember the names of my fellow workers.  Colby Dill and Stephen Funk were at CMU and Calvin Harris went to Pitt.  Calvin was a blonde kid from Georgia.  I never asked how he got to Pittsburgh but each Friday he suggested we go out for beer and pizza after work.  I always said I had something to do as I couldn’t tell him my 18th birthday was over a month away and I didn’t have fake ID to get served.

          During this time, there were constant radio advertisements for the Evelyn Wood Speed Reading course.  Evelyn promoted a way of reading that included using your finger as a guide on the middle of the page and reading in groups of words instead of individual words.  The business model was for employees of the company to visit various cities and conduct seminars in hotel meeting rooms.  You could sign up for the course at the seminar.  I have no idea or memory how the course was actually delivered.

          A speed-reading seminar was held at the Hotel Webster Hall during my time at the TV station.  That hotel is within talking distance of QED.  I attended the event.

          A young woman, maybe 27-30 years of age, was our host.  She talked about the benefits of speed reading.  She told us she read the novel Love Story while standing in an airport bookstore (a short novel but still a worthy accomplishment).

          We were given a story to read.  The story had to do with a boy and his dog and their adventures.  The story was on a two-sided sheet of paper.  We were going to be timed for how fast we could read currently and then learn how Evelyn Wood’s class could increase our speed.

          I finished both sides of the page quickly.  I could always read fast.  The other attendees were still reading along.  The host saw me and told me to turn the paper over and read it again.  Which I did.

          When time was up, the host made note of our scores.  As anybody who sells should do, she went for the “close” with the people in attendance.  I don’t remember if anybody signed up on the spot but there is one thing I certainly remember from this experience.

          She asked me to stay as she wanted to talk to me.  When the others left, she commented about how fast I could read and we talked about favorite writers and books.  I don’t remember each word she said, but I remember when she said this:

“I could do amazing things with you.”

          Now, she was probably referring to how she could increase my reading speed, but I didn’t hear it like that.  To my 17-year-old virgin ears, I heard it as a sentence with a strong sexual connotation.  I didn’t reply in any suave or sophisticated manner.  I didn’t have that game then.  But I’ll tell you this: if she had suggested we go out for drinks, I would have found a fake ID somewhere in Oakland (South Oakland would have been my best bet) in a hurry.  

          Over the intervening years, many females in this country (and others) have said things to me that were complimentary, flattering, provocative, alluring and inviting.  I remember many of them (both the females and the things they said).  Probably what was said to me that late winter day in the meeting room of the Hotel Webster Hall was the first such suggestive line said by a female to me.

          And I will never forget it.

Note 1: Guess what I think about when I drive past the Hotel Webster Hall?

Note 2: The Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics entity is now owned by a company called Pryor Learning and the program is still available in book and/or streaming form.  Evelyn Wood herself died in 1995 at the age of 86.